I'm no Smoltz

I can't close. I have a problem with finishing what I've started, and I don't know why. My motivation comes in spurts, and when it starts to fade, it's gone in an instant. Then when it comes again, it has to be focused on something new, not something I've started and stopped before. I can't believe that we would
Lie in our graves
Wondering if we had
Spent our living days well

I can't believe that we would
Lie in our graves
Dreaming of things that we
Might have been.
I look around my room and see nothing but unfinished business. Books I haven't finished. Half written letters. Ideas of what I thought I wanted laying everywhere. A mess by more than one means.

It's like I am in a fog. I can't remember making the decisions I've made, or if any intelligent thought was put into them. I just wake up in the morning, and go about my obligated business, sleep, repeat. A cycle that I swear is killing some part of my insides.

What motivation do I need in order to wake up and realize how much of my life is being wasted? The sad part is that I am realizing it right now and most every day, yet I do nothing to change it. Why? What is it going to take?

Sorry this post wasn't actually more about baseball. That would have been more fun to read probably, since this is just a rambling of the mind, and not sports. On a more positive, and even sports related note, the Nationals are losing.