Ok, I'll admit it. There really is no point in hiding it; the concept of death scares the bejesus out of me. The fact that it is coming and there is nothing I can do to stop it. This will cease.
It never bothers me during the day though, always while an inch away from a good night's sleep. Then..BAM! Wide awake feeling so incredibly small and helpless. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, man does it eff with my head. Though as I type, coming down, relaxing a bit, I realize it does change my point of view on a lot of things; mostly regarding how little everything matters. The things that are troublesome and stressful during the day, or what my plans are tomorrow, they all become immediately minuscule and irrelevant. How did I just go from feeling so fearful to fearless? Weird.
Oh and in case you were wondering, watching the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan on TV while trying to fall asleep probably isn't the greatest idea. Better switch it over to something mindless.
I can't wait for tomorrow.
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