a new day

...so today I am finally beginning to feel as if something is different. Something has changed; something is different. Ah, yes! No overwhelming thesis burden. Over the last month or so, I managed to crack down on distractions the best I could and cranked out this Master of Arch. thesis project. It's done. woohoo! party! yea!!

Yea, ok. So there was minimal fanfare, though that is to be expected. Several 'congratulations' from important people, which felt good on the inside. Though deep down there, on the inside, I know the project is only just started. When people ask what my thesis was about I can hardly answer them. Sometimes I just say it was a 'community center', other times I will just add a recital of the title hoping that it will suffice. Then there are the surprising times when I explain it perfectly, making me wish for a personal dictator to rewind the tape so I can hear it explained for myself. These brief moments provide the comfort I need to move on. Yea, maybe I can't describe it right every time, but it's in there somewhere. If we hang out enough, maybe it will pop out one day while you are around.

Looking back I can see clearly that this project is exactly what I wanted it to be. Some of the first writings in my sketchbook/journals were about the level of self-education that must exist, the open minded-ness for change that must exist, and the acceptance of ignorance that must exist. This project was a self-education. It awakened something new within me that I cannot fully explain; something which provides great optimism as I know it has yet to be fully realized, leaving the opportunity to remain out there for the taking. I have no idea what to do next, what the next step in my life is, only that there is nothing holding me back from attaining anything I want. A view on life which has also revealed how much other people are unhappy, constantly complaining instead of doing, solving, adjusting themselves to reach for happiness. The phrase "I would love to do that, but I can't because...." has become all too common in my conversations with others, and is quickly becoming a pet-peeve. Seriously, you are going to surrender your short life experience on such a flimsy excuse? For your sake, I hope you reconsider. I know it has become cliche, but you can do anything you want at any time.....yes, right now, tomorrow, whenever you want.  There are no excuses; minus one, the questioning the quality of your own decision making. You are where you are because you chose to be. Nothing else.

I have been telling myself that I need to make a list of things I would like to do, just to get all the ideas visible at once, as they are currently scattered and ranging greatly in effort and direction. Last night I finally sat down and made a crude list. Perhaps I will revise it and post it later.

Ok, that is enough time behind the computer for the moment. Time to go enjoy the day. I am not sure where I first heard this advice, but I find its application brings immediate calm. Make it a daily practice to open a window. Do it while driving, while at the office, while at home.  Just open it up and you will feel better, immediately grounded and reconnected to your world. Disregard the weather. If you cannot accept all forms of weather as pleasant and necessary, how can you expect to live happily?

peace.

naked feet

I never really noticed it, but over the last few years I have grown out of wearing shoes. Living in a corporate world, you pretty much have to wear them for most of the day, despite the fact that you are sitting down most of that time (depending on your job). I have never been much of a shoe person, but I never minded them much either. The combination of my return to a college lifestyle and the dreadful heat that becomes commonplace in the South, my lifestyle the last few years has only strengthened my enjoyment of wearing minimal footwear. Aside from formal occasions, and the rare winter weather in Savannah, I would rather be wearing sandals (or sock-less Sperrys) if footwear were to be required.

In December, I wanted to start up running again, not having committed to it seriously since high school cross country, over a decade ago. I'm not sure why this fact of not liking much shoe on my foot didn't cross my mind then, but it didn't. I went out and bought a brand new pair of shoes. It is just what you do when you want to run. You need a nice pair of shoes, right? To make you run faster? To stay injury-free you need the right pair? It is what I have always done in the past, why should this time be any different?

Well, I have always heard about it, but never taken it too seriously, as it seemed like a gimmick or something for the uber-extreme runner, or for the speedy Kenyan that wasn't fortunate enough for a nice pair Nikes, but barefoot running has been a growing interest of mine for some time now. I have friends who do it. It has been recommended to me several times to try, especially when discussing my joint aches and pains. So I have decided to look at it a little harder this time.

According to this month's Runner's World, it is apparently a "fad" on the rise, and holds a great debate as to whether this radical departure from the norm is a legit mode of exercise. This renegade movement is apparently surging, being led by Christopher McDougall and readers of his book, Born to Run.  Sweet, maybe I can be in the cool crowd this time. :)  Well, I don't know anything about that, nor do I care to join the cool crowd, but I am interested in the benefits of running without shoes. Having been researching it a bit, it seems that people claim great benefit from this "style" of running (less aches and pains, more natural form, increased fun, etc.), all of which interest me. Having never been a huge fan of shoes, why should I need a special pair to run? It just sounds silly all of sudden. Our foot is designed to walk and run just fine without any special treatment. We have just been conditioned to need a shoe.

So, anyway.....I will be continuing my research and hopefully move to some trials in the near future. 


UPDATE: The more POV's, the better....recent article on the topic.

handlebar

So its been a while since I have had a shave. Thanksgiving, in fact, I believe was the last occasion. Not having a job where I am greeting clients face to face, or the presence of daily razzing from classmates, and such, it has been nice to just let it go for a while. I have let it go several times in the last few years, but only for No Shave November events, and that is just a month. This is the longest it has been, and though I feel the look growing on me (ah! pun, sorry) I feel it may not be tolerable for much longer. I snapped a photo strictly for documentation purposes, and for future discouragement from trying it again. :) Time for a haircut too, that's been since Oct.

No Impact Man

I have been recently been made aware of the efforts of Colin Beavan, a.k.a. No Impact Man, (Thanks, Vern) and have been pleasantly intrigued by his journey to change his lifestyle, as it is something I have increasingly longed for in my own life.  We have all heard of people becoming more "environmentally conscious" or more "green", terms which I personally have a slight issue with, and perhaps that is why I enjoyed his approach so much: he is straight-forward, and honest.  He admits that his new title is perhaps just a sensational and extreme as all the other "green" slogans, however he backs up his claims with the experimentation that he and his family underwent: attempting to live for a year with "no impact".  He documents the struggles that exist while living within a cultural system that does not support living naturally or the well-being of the whole, but one that focuses solely on consumption, forgetting the harmful waste that inevitably follows.


I have yet to see his documentary film, or read his book, but eagerly await to see what they have to say. In the mean time, his blog is available with a lot of information, including a trailer to his film, as well as a video of a talk he gave in promotion of his book at a B&N, aired on BookTV (very good conversion with Q&A).  I would encourage you to take a little time to explore his story, and to please share what you find with others.  We all have an impact; is yours set to improve or to degrade?

My Brother the Artist....2 weeks in.

So it has been a couple weeks now for the bro. I have stopped over a few times so far to say hello, taking the opportunity to drop off firewood, sit in the sun and write a bit, and to wear out a Rowdy dog. Andrew seems to be thoroughly enjoying his tenure in the barn. The first week and a half was quite cold by Florida standards, but that has passed and we are on to more typical winter temps (High:60's, Low:40's). I snapped a couple interior photos the other day so you could see how he is living. Not much on the walls this visit....must have known I was going to snap a few pics.

I will post a few more on flickr. Don't forget to drop him a line if you haven't already. One stamp holds so much potential.  peace.

The Zen of Running

My growing interest of late (the last year or two or three) has been about trying to explore and discover my Self in our busy little world we have created. I have only briefly dabbled in meditation, tai chi, etc., and while I find all of that deeply satisfying, I had never thought of running to be a form of this Self discovery. I had run CC and track in HS, and participated in some college sports, but running hadn't been 'fun' or overly enjoyable in a very long time....probably since childhood.

Today a college professor of mine, who is also an avid barefoot runner, recommended this read, "The Zen of Running" by Fred Rohé. It is a very quick and simple read. It was originally printed in the '70s and I believe it is now out of print, but thankfully Rohé has posted a PDF download on his website for all to share.

I found it greatly helpful in regards to the way I approach running. For so long I enjoyed running, then for whatever reason I grew to despise it. When my interest returned, joining DailyMile last month, it was for the sake of competition, stat tracking, and so forth. "Yea, look at me and what I can do!" I am thankful to have come across this book, as it has helped coax my motivation into a more healthy direction. Nothing wrong with DM, just running my own race now.

Here is the link to the PDF: The Zen of Running

I just wanted to share this find with you, in case you hadn't heard of it. Also, if you have any of your own stories about this topic, I would love get a discussion going about this. Though I am only beginning, I find it incredibly fascinating.

peace.

it's twenty ten....

...not two-thousand ten.  You didn't graduate in nineteen-thousand ninety-seven, did you?  Didn't think so.

So it's a new year.  The time of summation lists of a year gone by and resolutions for the year to come.  I'd make you a list, perhaps of some good music from twenty nine (??..ok, so maybe the pronunciation thing doesn't work.), or movies (might have gone to the theater once last year), or books (if it isn't Arch. related then I haven't read it, and I sure as hell don't want to rank them), but quite honestly I am not in the mood for lists today.  Leaning more toward the year to come.  I can't recall ever completely following through on a resolution, so I better not jinx any new plans by calling them one.  Let's just say that this year will be the year that I step out into the unknown.

Goals have been set for the short-term, but that is it.  Some are the same goals that couldn't be completed in 2009 for whatever reason, but the new year has sparked new motivation to move on.  Goal #1 is my thesis project.  It has been hanging around too long and is no longer welcome here.  It must go.  As stated before, my motivation to complete it has been lacking at times....most of the time.

In the last month or so, I have also been motivated to begin running again.  The urge appeared to happen on a whim, most likely a culprit of distraction from my thesis.  "But running is good, it couldn't hurt to add some....any....motivation to your daily life" was my reasoning.  So I have been running again.  Aside from the running associated with my time as a rower, I really haven't done much of it since my high school cross country days.  12+ years and 35-40 lbs later, running isn't as easy at it once was.  However, it is coming back, and it is feeling good....er, better each time.  I have noticed it helps to be able to track yourself and see your progress.  Very motivating.

So....with my thesis motivation waning and my running motivation on the rise, I have decided in this new year to combine these efforts.  On February 6, 2010 there is a race in Savannah.  The place I need to be at the completion of my thesis in order to finalize everything, getting approval signatures and such.  My goal is to be there so that I can run in the Critz Tybee Run.

If for whatever reason, I cannot be in Savannah, there is also a race in Pensacola, the Double Bridge Run.  I will continue my run training and prepare for either of these races....the catch is that if I am not done with my project by then, I cannot run.  My running is already mapped out for the month of January, so that cannot waiver....and now, my completion date for this project cannot either, or my efforts will have been for not.  Attaching my competitive side to this is bound to work, right?

I am very aware that my past attempts at motivation have been mute.  I have tried nearly everything I can think of, and nothing has worked.  The latest attempt, for instance, I haven't had a hair cut since October, or a shave since around Thanksgiving.  I have horrible facial hair once it exceeds 5pm stubble.  It is very patchy and sad.  Knowing this I have put my appearance on the line until I finish.  It has helped to some extent, because its so freakin' uncomfortable (and ugly), but my thoughts that it would deter me from public venues has not been as successful as intended.  So...I hope this running thing works.  Really ready to move on, and shave.

Well, until next time....

....ok, fine, maybe just a quick little list of "good stuff I really enjoyed" during 2009.

Books:
1. How to See Yourself as You Really Are
2. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Movie:
1. (500) Days of Summer

Albums:
1. Hey Marseilles - To Travels and Trunks
2. Matt and Kim - Grand
3. Dave Matthews Band - Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King
4. Regina Spektor - Far
Too close to call Runners-up:
Norah Jones - The Fall
(500) Days...Soundtrack
Schuyler Fisk - The Good Stuff

Check 'em out! Happy New Year! Ok, bye.

My Brother the Artist....

....has some creative plans for his first month of the decade. He has developed and proposed a challenge to himself that will help him become the artist he wants to be. The challenge is posted below. If you have ever been camping, you know how long a day can feel when without modern conveniences. He will have plenty of "free" time to think, create, and produce. (ah, envy!!) You should send him something.

The month of January in Florida is nothing compared to northern states, but for us warm-blooded beach dwellers, it gets pretty cold. This first week, the temperature will get up to 50 for about an hour, and then head back down toward (and below) freezing for the nights. So that should be fun.

I will be stopping by every so often to see what's up. Here is a photo of pre-Day 1, preparing for his first night. It should be an interesting endeavor. I can't wait to see what he produces.

Until next time, peace.
zach.

Day Dream

Today has been quite a peculiar day. One with no energy.  Foggy, rainy, and humid outside. Not being able to see beyond 10 yards in front of you is nice sometimes.

Took Rowdy for a walk this evening. I assume the sun was setting, as the street lights popped on in the haze. 70 degrees outside with 99% humidity in the middle of December.  You don't normally sweat while you walk your dog in December. It felt like summer, so much that I began to wonder why people had Christmas decorations up.  It was a very eerie walk. Hardly any sounds. What you could hear came from ten houses down, sounding like it was happening right next to you.

Walking past houses of old friends and acquaintances from earlier in life, middle school, high school and so on, none of which are still inhabited by the same families, I began to think of the path I was taking, and the ones I have taken before. The spaces, that for some reason, held a memory in my head. Much like that of a child from Family Circus, I began to map out routes I had taken, leaving only dashes behind. I've been in that house. I've walked through that door. I have played in that backyard. I wonder how many times I have been in this exact spot? How many more times will I be right here?  Suddenly snapped back to reality as Rowdy and I nearly became roadkill to a tired 9-to-5er returning home in their SUV.  Probably rushing home from the stressful act of useless gift buying.

We continued our walk with a new heart rate. Thinking that incident would be a nice touch to a future blog entry, we crafted other lines that would sound cool, but unfortunately (or not) we couldn't think of a good ending.

Rowdy and I returned home to find something to do that wouldn't bore us. Nothing yet. Yeah, that ending sucks.

flash back

So I knew this would happen. I was warned about it as well, but I already knew it would arrive, despite my supreme confidence that I could postpone the arrival due to increased maturity since my post-high school days.  I have about had it with living with parents. I know I am only "visiting" but my lack of motivation to finish my thesis is discouraging, prolonging my stay. I have flashed back in time to the days when I would dream of all the places I wanted to go and all the experiences I wanted to have, while being trapped in my bedroom upstairs with no apparent sign of escape. I have found distraction after distraction, excuse after excuse to not work on this thesis, and I don't know why. I will get psyched up to do it sometimes, but that always occurs in the middle of the night as I lay in bed. By morning I am again distracted.  I have made many attempts at different types of motivation, nothing seems to be working......until this. The sooner I am out of here the better. I am not bound here as I once was as a kid, despite my apparent need to think so.  I am leaving, and it will be soon. Tomorrow it begins....or perhaps tonight at 2am if I get the urge.

I need to start compiling my list of adventures again. A mental list seems to get lost, perhaps a physical list is in order.

There ain't moral to this story at all
Everything I tell you
Very well could be a lie
Been away from the livin’
Don’t need to be forgiven
I’m just waiting for that cold black soul of mine
To come alive